We literally increase the pleasure or pain we (and others) experience by the words we use and the way we say them!
We humans experience a vast amount of sensory input very day. We assign language to each experience without, for the most part, even realizing it. The language we use in that process affects our emotional and mental state as well as the state of others and the world.
One of the really splendid things about the way we use language is that we can take charge of the process and improve our experience of life and our relationships with others and the world in the process.
Here’s an example –
Maybe you are someone who says many times in a day,
“I HATE _____________ !!
For a day or two just notice how it feels in your body and your emotions when you use this phrase in your speech and in your internal dialogue.
Now for a couple of days, try saying….
Your words accumulate meaning for you (and others) over time and when you use them, you set yourself up to increase your pleasure or pain.
Instead of saying “Those Democrats (or Republicans) _________________, try for a couple days saying things like, “Some people who see things differently than I _____________.”
Instead of saying, “You are so lazy!!” why not try saying, “Would you please ___________?”
Feel the difference in your body, your thoughts, your feelings.
You can actually change your state by changing the words you assign to experiences and sensations. You can lower or raise the intensity of any experience by the words you assign to it. You can further accomplish this by being aware of HOW you say those words.
Think of the moment when your partner says casually, “I love you” on their way out the door in the morning. Now imagine how it would feel to hear, “I LOVE YOU! I can’t wait to have dinner with you tonight.”whispered in your ear with gentle, intimate intensity. Or imagine yourself on a hike where the sound of “I LOVE YOU!” echoes off the mountain peaks and returns to you, “I Love You! I Love You! I Love You!”
Think of the difference between someone all red in the face screaming at you, “I am so pissed off right now!” or “Something is bothering me. Is this a good time to talk?”
It can feel strange to change our habits in the ways we talk to others and to ourselves, but just give it a try and leave a comment below to share how it feels to you, how it changes the world.